Lots of Travel, Lots of Settling, Lots of Thinking

It's been a busy week!

Lots of travel, lots of settling, and of course, lots of thinking.

Speaking of settling, I finally feel like my apartment looks put together enough (not totally put together, but enough) to show you all what it looks like!

The living room - TV, plant, and TV table were donated by my friend Ginny. I got the coffee table/desk and pillows/seats from a yard sale. Everything is low to the ground. V^-^V

That box is my eating table.

My favorite dinner these days - mushrooms cooked in garlic & wine with fresh tomatoes and balsamic reduction, french bread toasted in olive oil & oregano, asparagus, and poached eggs. YUM. I've had this 3 days in a row...

My kitchen! Complete with daily inspiration courtesy of DJ Lil Danimal. Please note I do dishes without a dishwasher.

More of the kitchen and my entry door. Please also note I have no microwave and I love it. No radiation for me!

My little stove; gets the job done better than the North stove.

Bathroom with custom (ghetto) curtain

I'm really proud of this DIY no-sew curtain, actually.

Bedroom. Can you tell it's an air mattress?! Nope.

Door to the bedroom. I love, love, love the door.

Monday, I didn't have work because of Columbus Day. I thought about Guatemala and other indigenous people all day. How exciting we have America! How terrible the way we got it. Anyway, as I've alluded to in other posts, most everything in the world is terrible (at least that's what I learned in college). It leaves me feeling paralyzed to do something about it. There are too many dirty details to tend to and it would occupy my entire lifetime to tend to all of them, and even then, I could never come close to fully addressing them. All of the people that starve, live in slavery, and even die because of my lifestyle. Grace. I have to quit obsessing over how awful I am, because everywhere, there is evidence of Grace.

I spent my Monday exploring those evidences.

Up near the lake

I love lily pads!

I've traveled 459.8 miles for conferences this week.

Tuesday, I woke up at 4:40am to drive to the University of Maine in Orono for a conference on volunteerism. Thursday, I woke up not so early (6:30am) to drive to Readfield and then on to Bangor for a two day conference on how to effectively manage a grant that the school department is currently applying for. I will have a major role in the programming that results from being given the grant. I may even apply for the job of site coordinator since I'll already be doing a lot of that kind of work and I'm allowed to work two jobs at my Americorps job. Maybe I won't legitimately be living in poverty! :)

I've felt a little bit more on top of my schedule this week even though I was traveling, so I got to run outside one day and have been going to the gym regularly. It feels so good to be working out again, and even though I hate the psychological difficulty of running on the treadmill, my outdoor runs will be much better because of it. I've decided that before this term of service is over, I either want to run another half marathon or CRAZY! run a full marathon. I think that would be incredible. We'll see how training goes during the winter months....

I just spent my third Sunday at the church that was so instrumental to me transitioning up here. I went to their bible study on Wednesday night and it was an eclectic group including a 40-something Scandinavian metal-rocker with long black hair and a braided goatee, three boys under the age of 14, an older couple that I think may legitimately be Puritans, and a few others including Ginny. I've never been to a bible study like this one, not only because everyone was all over the place in terms of life positions, but also because our focus was the message that was preached on Sunday. I think it's a cool concept to continue the study from Sunday throughout the week. I really liked it, even though it was really odd. I'll go back this Wednesday...

... which brings me to today's sermon. We started a series on marriage and it brought up a strange sadness for me. I know many, many people my age who graduated with me from high school that are getting married or were recently married. Granted the thought of being married at this point in my life makes my skin crawl, it can be a pretty lonely feeling sometimes when you see people moving on in life and love. Specifically, I'm thinking of the first two guys I dated- the first got married last year and the second, if you had asked me this time four years ago, I would have told you our wedding day was October 27th, 2012; that's two weeks from now?? The second guy frequently professed his intention, desire, and certainty that he would marry me and he's engaged now, obviously not to me. I don't feel sadness that these two have found their happiness because it's not the loss of relationships I had with them that I feel sadness for. I feel sadness for the cynicism I have toward relationships as a direct result of my misadventures in dating. When I was 18, I truly believed I would be married this year, and the direction my life is going now is incredibly uncertain of any kind of timeline for settling. I value the freedom I get in exchange for not being tied to anyone during this limited time of life where my responsibilities are few and my ambition is high. I would just really like to not be jaded. J-j-jaded.

I'm a Free Bird!

JB